So - I'm going to get a little real on this post.
Things have not been great. The last part of August pretty much sent me into a downward spiral I'm trying to climb back out of. In the span of one week my kids started back to school, my husband became jobless, my daughter's pet rat died, and we buried my grandfather. I was very close to my grandfather, spent every weekend at his house for a good portion of my younger years. His health wasn't the best, but for me his passing was rather sudden. I still haven't processed it.
To say I'm stressed is an understatement. All I want to do is sleep. I want to stay curled up under a blanket and hide from everything. But I can't. I go to work and bust my ass to bring in what money I can while my husband works hard to find a job. I don't let myself really think about my grandfather and process his death because I feel like if I start crying I won't stop. My husband, bless him, is doing everything he can to find a job and take some of the stress off me by doing things around the house. But when I'm this stressed (and I honestly don't remember a time I've been THIS stressed) I let all the other things I should be doing to take care of myself slide.
I stress eat. That's always been a problem. Now, when I actually have an appetite, I eat crap. And the sad thing is I don't even want it. I actually am craving fish and veggies and good foods. But I can't get up the energy to make them. I know that getting on the yoga mat and doing my DDPYoga will help the stress, will help me sleep better and feel better and work out some of my frustrations. But I can't get myself to get on the mat. My knowing all this is being defeated by mental and physical exhaustion.
But I'm trying. I got on the mat yesterday morning and did Wake Up. I was so tense and tight that it actually hurt a little (but felt better at the end). But I was glad I did it. I was going to do Wake Up and Red Hot Core this morning, but last night for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. And by the time I did finally get to sleep I slept through my workout time. Because I can't do my job if I'm sleep deprived. But I got some hummus and pita chips and quinoa salad with grilled chicken to eat for lunch at work. I drink my IDLife shake in the morning and bring bananas to work for snacks. When I get home though, dinner is the hard part. But I got a cook book, and I'm going to make a list and get healthier options when I go shopping this weekend.
So I'm trying. I'm taking baby steps. I'm reading the DDPYoga group on Facebook and trying to focus on what I CAN take control of instead of what I can't. And I'm going to try to use this as a way to help others. To show that you can climb out of the dark hole and make things better.
So here's my first post in this journey. I will - one way or another - make a post each week. And I will - one way or another - get to where I want to be.